Showing posts with label self-esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-esteem. Show all posts

Friday, November 8, 2013

Our Thoughts and Emotions - Part 3 of 3


Image by Christina Morley
The fact is that whatever is going on inside of us overflows into how we behave toward others. If our thoughts are stirring up negative emotions, then we need to consider what we are thinking about. We decide what to think. The Bible tells us that whatsoever things are pure and whatsoever things are lovely, we should think on these things (Phil. 4:8).

Usually, what happens is that we waste lots of time reviewing in our minds a particularly negative situation over and over again. If we notice that our thoughts are spiraling downwards, then we need to grab hold of them and make a focus shift by redirecting our thoughts towards God’s view on the situation. Unhealthy thoughts bring unhealthy emotions.

When my eldest daughter was just four years old, she began battling with her thoughts. She would ask questions like how do we know when our thoughts are from God and when they are from the devil? Deciphering truth from a lie was especially perplexing for her as she struggled with lots of negative thoughts toward herself.

I had a few conversations with her about it, but I didn’t seem to be getting through to her. Then one day my son decided to try and help her with her dilemma. He was only eighteen months older, but his advice took. He told her that the devil speaks to her mind, and God speaks to her heart. The way he put it was simple enough for her to grasp. Once she recognized that her thoughts were not always telling the truth, and that she could listen to her heart, she began having more peace of mind.

It’s also important to note that the way we treat ourselves is the same way we’ll treat others. This means that we cannot respond toward others lovingly if we don’t love ourselves. The way we treat ourselves has everything to do with the way we think about ourselves. Our minds hold a lot of power.

We need to train our thoughts to be in line with God’s thoughts. We are not victims, and we are not powerless. We can change what is troubling us. Through Christ Jesus, our old thought patterns no longer need to have center stage. In fact, they can be totally replaced with God’s truth by reading the Bible and by receiving His thoughts about life. Through the Word of God, we can positively impact our lives and the lives of others around us. In Christ, we can have peace beyond understanding.

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Sunday, September 29, 2013

Our Thoughts and Emotions - Part 1 of 3

Image and Text by Christina Morley
All of us have traveled through life and have picked up a number of wounds along the way. For some the wounds inflicted were more terrible than for others. When these wounds are not healed, they begin to impact our lives negatively.

Perhaps you lost a parent while growing up and have always felt the void this left. Or your family didn’t know how to show you love. Maybe you were one of the many at school who felt the stinging words of bullies. Or perhaps you were emotionally, physically, or even sexually abused.

Whatever the wounds, they may still leave you wondering if you are special and if you really matter. Your logic tells you that if you were special and if you did matter then those people would never have hurt you. Maybe you’ve even convinced yourself that you deserved to be treated that way. The devil is the author of these kinds of lies. If you have confused the ill-treatment with your self-worth, then you have acknowledged that the devil is right, and God is wrong.

It’s important that we take inventory of our thoughts and emotions on a regular basis. They impact our lives to a great extent. Some of the things that we carry are too heavy for us to bear. God asks us to cast our burdens on to Him because He cares for us (Ps. 55:22). He knows everything in the tiniest detail and understands all human suffering. There is nothing on this earth that goes by Him unnoticed. If a little sparrow falls from the sky, He knows and cares. Yet, He is never gloomy, and He is not wrapped up in negative emotions.

When our emotions are overpowering us, it’s a sign that something is wrong. The matter only worsens if we try to avoid whatever it is that’s bothering us. Usually, we keep ourselves so busy that we’re out of touch with what’s going on deep down inside.

We complicate matters when we don’t search our hearts to discover the source of our problems. Instead, by running from our pain, we develop “ghosts” that don’t go away. These “ghosts” are unresolved issues that resurface and trigger us to react to situations in an inappropriate manner, like when we blow-up at the slightest provocation or respond defensively when spoken to.

Issues that have not been appropriately handled need to be brought into the light. We have to make the choice to face the real reason behind the pain. By bringing these “ghosts” into the light of truth, we will know them for what they really are. No longer will they be faceless wounds. Instead, they will be known as real hurts with names like “rejection” or “neglect.” As each negative experience from the past is distinguished, the better equipped we’ll be to recognize them every time they rear their ugly heads. Then we can deal with them appropriately.
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Friday, May 25, 2012

Thankful in Times of Opposition – Part 3 of 4

Both Joshua and Caleb had the kind of faith where they were willing to be used by God to make a difference in their society. That’s because they never forgot their origins. They remembered that they were the chosen people of God and that their God was all-powerful. They also chose to remain faithful to God no matter what the cost. That included standing up to popular opinion. Everyone else, except for Moses, wanted to listen to the ten spies that had come back with a fearful report. Joshua and Caleb tried to persuade them differently, but to no avail. The discussion got so heated that the people threatened them with stoning.

How do you feel when others put you down or scorn your Christian faith? Do you wilt away, hoping that they won’t take notice of you in the future? Or do you stand up taller and smile brighter knowing that you’re an heir and a ruler in the family of God?

People will take notice of you, and they’ll want to know what your secret is if you’re willing to have the attitude of Joshua and Caleb. God created you with enormous potential. As you meditate on what God says about you in the scriptures, then you won’t have to worry about what others might think, say, or do.

Part of living out your faith includes having to go against the regular flow of society. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Most people are thermometers that record or register the temperature of majority opinion, not thermostats that transform and regulate the temperature of society.” We know that Dr. King stood for what he believed in despite all the threats and criticisms that he had to face.

You have to decide if you will be the thermostat and transform society or just another thermometer. Will you make yourself available to be used by God to make a difference in the lives of others around you? Do you believe that with God you have the potential to make your life and future a success?

Perhaps you’ve lost yourself in the daily grind of caring for your children, your husband, and your home, and you no longer know who you are. Or, maybe sin and fear are standing in the way of a joyous and faith-filled life.

The Israelites were offered their freedom and a blessed future if they would turn away from their idols and worship and obey God. Instead, they preferred their spiritual and even their physical slavery to God’s gift of freedom.

Don’t be a slave to your family, to sin, or to fear. If you’re going to be a slave, then be a slave to the Lord. The apostle Paul was a Roman citizen and therefore a free man, but he wrote that He was a slave of Christ Jesus. To be a slave of Jesus actually means to be free – free from the bondage of sin and death. The devil came to steal, kill and destroy, but Jesus has come to give us life and to give it abundantly (John 10:10).
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Friday, May 18, 2012

Thankful in Times of Opposition – Part 1 of 4

What was going on in the hearts and minds of the Israelites the first time they wanted to enter the Promised Land? With the exception of Joshua and Caleb, the people’s hearts were gripped with fear when they saw what stood in their way. The people of the land were mighty and God’s people felt small, so they lost confidence in themselves. They doubted Moses, and most of all, they doubted God. They had a hard time believing in others, probably because they didn’t believe in themselves.

Fear crippled them and prevented them from possessing the land by faith. Fear also kept them from experiencing God’s abundant love. Fear is the opposite of love. The two cannot coexist. Fear operates through unbelief, and love operates through faith.

It’s understandable that the people didn’t respect Moses much. They hardly knew him as a leader, and what they knew of his past hurt his reputation.

Imagine yourself living a slave’s life and one day finding out that one of your own people had been adopted by the Pharaoh’s daughter and raised as a prince. For the first forty years of his life Moses was sheltered while his fellow Hebrews suffered under the bonds of slavery. If Moses’ luxurious life didn’t make you jealous, then what happened next might make you think he was unworthy of respect.

His whole life took a dramatic turn when, in a moment of self-appointed heroism, he killed an Egyptian for beating a Hebrew. Then, when his cover was blown, he went on the run. For the next forty years, he lived as a fugitive and worked as a shepherd. From the pleasures of palace living to the harsh realities of desert dwelling, Moses not only looked, but also felt, like a failure.

Just before Moses killed the Egyptian, he knew that he was meant to do something great for God. But after another Hebrew blew his cover, he realized his zeal had been misguided and fled the scene. This incident so crushed his pride that his dream and passion died with it.

When God got hold of him forty years later, he thought God had the wrong man. He not only didn’t jump at the offer to lead the Israelites to freedom, he even declined it. Maybe you have felt like Moses. Maybe you have stopped believing in yourself. However, no matter how bad your past might seem to you, God is in the business of giving second chances.
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Friday, March 30, 2012

Thankful in Times of Sacrifice – Part 3 of 5


One thing that my husband and I gave up soon after we were married was the TV. We realized that it was a big temptation for us simply to watch whatever was on even if there was nothing worth watching. We realized that we weren’t allowing God to talk to us concerning our free time, so we decided to get rid of the TV.

It wasn’t always easy living without a TV. We had to retrain ourselves on how to get along without it, but the sacrifice paid off as it ceased to be a driving force in our lives. Once we felt we had learned our lesson, we gradually reintroduced TV viewing into our home. Now we carefully choose what we watch and when to watch. My husband even learned that the remote control doesn’t belong to him, and that he could give up watching sports if it was stealing his time with the family.

I’m a firm believer in monitoring what my children spend their time watching, because all shows and movies teach a message. I believe it’s the devil’s ploy to degrade the human race, and he targets our young people because whatever they think about themselves now will often follow them into adulthood. You see, God says we are created in His image (Gen. 1:26). Of course, the devil hates the image of God, and so he’s trying to destroy it in any way he can.

I want my kids raised on the good stuff and not the bad because it influences their values and their attitudes. Just because a cartoon is aimed at children doesn’t mean that its content is good for children. In some cartoons which depict distorted and disfigured human characters there’s a disregard for the sanctity of human life. Values are distorted, and then we wonder why our kids are so negative and struggle with low self-esteem.

We need to be sensitive to what our kids are watching and have discussions about what they are learning. Sometimes my kids are not allowed to watch programs and movies that their friends are watching, but I try to avoid making them feel worse off for it. In some cases the restrictions were lifted once they were older. Whenever I’ve had to put my foot down, I’ve always explained to them why.

It’s important to have alternatives for our children. Over the years we’ve accumulated an extensive collection of children’s videos and DVDs. I want my kids to embrace our values so they can make good choices for themselves when I’m not there to monitor them. I know it’s working because once in a while they eagerly share how they make right choices when I’m not there. If they do break my rules when I’m not around, then it’s on their conscience instead of mine.

You can read my blog post When to Say "Yes" or "No" to TV Programs for more on this topic.

In the above photo, Amanda (at age 1) is watching a Disney Baby Einstein DVD.
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Friday, February 17, 2012

Discovering Your Potential - Part 2 of 5

Too many women wish they had different hair, or eyes of a different color, or different gifts and talents. Wishing we were something or someone else only cripples our potential and our joy. Some even think that they’re not a bit talented or gifted. Actually, we’re all talented and gifted, but in different ways and to different degrees. We bring God glory when we embrace the unique way that He made each of us.

We are like life coaches, but we can’t coach our kids about discovering their identities if we don’t know our own. Therefore, we need to be thankful and honest about ourselves and not pretend to be someone we’re not. By modeling this we will help our children confidently get to know who they are. Peer pressure doesn’t have to get the better of them if we create an atmosphere that strengthens their self-esteem.

The best part is that whatever we’re born with doesn’t just end there. There’s more for us because there’s much more in Christ. It’s good to note our weaknesses, but if we spend time trying only to improve our weaknesses then we may forget about our strengths. This can have a bad effect on our self-esteem, to the point where we finally just give up on ourselves. We need to keep our focus on God and His potential not on our own abilities or seeming lack thereof. Even our strengths can be our greatest weaknesses when they are not properly harnessed. We just need to stay available and teachable, and God will do the rest.

I recommend that you read my post about my son and youngest daughter in "Eye Color Conversation."

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