Working Moms – Part 2 of 4

I chose to be a stay-at-home mom while my kids were small. I knew it was the best I could do for them, but I didn’t enjoy being bound to the house. Some mothers may feel fulfilled in their role as stay-at-home moms. But, what if, like me, you have also chosen to be a stay-at-home mom but feel unfulfilled? What if you desire to be doing more than just housework? In order to keep some variety in my life, I tried different things, such as working from home to bring in a little extra money.

Choosing to stay at home to raise your children is not an easy task, especially when they are small and you still have to do everything for them. From babyhood to toddlerhood they are completely dependent upon you. There’s nothing they can do that doesn’t require some help or monitoring.

If you’re feeling stuck, then maybe it’s time you redefined yourself. With God there is infinite creativity. He can give you an idea that requires you to think outside of the box. Try to discover what you like to do and where God wants to use you.

If you work away from home and hate every minute of it, perhaps it’s for the wrong reason. Is it because you have placed more faith in that pay check than in God? He knows that you need clothes and food, but He asks you to seek His kingdom first, and then all these things will be given to you (Luke 12:22-31). God’s kingdom principles will never fail you or your family.

Linking up with Brooke @ Covered in Grace

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Working Moms – Part 1 of 4

Being a mom often requires a delicate balancing act. Sometimes, you may even feel more like the clown in the circus rather than the acrobat. Jumping from the role of wife, to mother, to employee, and all the rest, can get you into quite a knot if your rhythm is wrong. Timing and balance are of the essence.

What if you feel deep down inside that you are meant to be spending more time with your kids, but don’t think you can because you need to work to make ends meet? Deciding how much time you’re willing to spend away from your kids is one of the most crucial decisions you’ll ever make in life. At the end of the day, your family is your number one priority. A job is something that passes away, but a family is something that remains forever. Therefore, our families should come first.

So how do you get it right? Everything that I’ve written up till now has pointed to hearing from God, staying connected to Him, and knowing your own limitations. By being obedient to Him, you will have your priorities in the right order, and He will look after you.

The thing is, people too often feel pressured to make decisions that in the end were not God’s best for them. For example, money pressures can rob you by becoming work pressures. Before you know it, earning money becomes your main focus, rather than your family. The question is, will you let the pressures rob you or will you resist the pressures and submit yourself to God’s solutions? God has a solution for every problem.

The Lord knows what’s best for you and your family. You can trust Him to help you make the right decisions. You should not allow anyone or any situation to dictate to you something that goes against your own gut feelings. When the pressure is on, stop and hear from God before making a decision that you may regret later in life.

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The Blood – Part 3 of 3

The blood makes us acceptable to Father God. Every time we take communion, we remember the blood of Jesus and the price He paid. The wine, or juice if you prefer, represents His blood and the forgiveness of our sins. Jesus taught that whenever the believers shared a meal together, they were to partake of this communion. For the early church, it was a regular occurrence presented in a natural way.

I’m concerned that church traditions of today have stifled this privilege by over-spiritualizing and over-restricting when and how we should partake of communion. We must be careful that our sole purpose for keeping church regulations is not to offend those who implement them. God is not so easily offended. What offends God is when we step away from worshiping Him in Spirit and in truth.

I believe that children are also meant to take part. Children born to a believing parent are under that parent’s spiritual covering. A child’s participation can be even more whole-hearted than our own. Jesus said that we should let the little children come to Him. He also said that the only way to receive the kingdom of God was like a child (Mark 10:13-15). We can learn about untainted faith from a child. In light of this, we need to be careful that our church rules don’t limit the children in expressing their faith.

Through Jesus’ blood, we become part of God’s family. Jesus is the firstborn, which makes Him our big brother. We might not look the same and we might not talk the same, but our redemption through Christ’s blood is the same. We are, therefore, all of the same stock. God has sealed us and set us apart by His Spirit.

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Prayer is Powerful – Part 3 of 5

My husband and I have made it a habit of praying every morning with the kids, either before leaving the house or once we’re all in the car together. We also pray every night for each child, sometimes while they’re still awake or when they’re already sleeping. Part of our prayers includes asking God to give them good dreams.

When I was a small child, I remember many times waking up from nightmares. As I grew older, those nightmares became less frequent. As an adult, I almost forgot they ever existed, but one day they suddenly came back.

I began to notice that there was a pattern for when I had a good night or a bad night. It seemed that the night before I had to lead a youth group or Sunday school class, a nightmare would strike. The dreams would be so graphic and gruesome that I realized they couldn’t be from my own imagination.

I tried praying scripture promises from David’s psalms concerning peaceful sleep. I also anointed every room with oil, but nothing I did seemed to work. Finally, I tried another tactic. It was so simple that I was surprised to find that it worked. All I did was pray that God would put His angels around our home to protect our sleep. I continued to pray that prayer every night, and from then on the nightmares stopped.

Now, every morning and evening we ask God to place His angels around our family. It might sound tiresome to follow such a routine. I know that after a while I had to make peace with it. We never question the need to brush our teeth every day to keep cavities away. The experts say that twice a day is better than once. It’s the same with prayer. My husband and I have seen such an improvement as a result of praying preventative prayers that we’ve chosen to make it a lifestyle.

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Thankful in Times of Sacrifice – Part 1 of 5

It’s easy for us to recognize God’s faithfulness and protection towards the Israelites because we know the outcome of their story. They, on the other hand, had a much harder time believing that this crazy adventure would have a happy ending.

We know from the Bible that God took care of them. He provided them with food and drinking water. The first miracle food that He gave them they called “manna”, which, translated, means “what is it?” It was a kind of bread that tasted like wafers, honey, and fresh olive oil. None of them had ever eaten heavenly food before and now they were expected to eat “what is it?” for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and for how long? This one-item menu became monotonous, and they wound up complaining again.

Remember that until then, God hadn’t required anything of them other than to leave Egypt and to follow Him. At the time of their leaving, not one Israelite had to die fighting the Egyptians and whatever they needed of their oppressors they could take before they left. However, God was now requiring something more from them. He wanted them to sacrifice fleshly desires; to give up what they loved (familiar food) for something better (heavenly food). Despite everything that God had already done for them, they still weren’t willing to make any personal sacrifices.

Perhaps you might be tempted to judge them as thick-headed. Maybe they were, but we’re not much different from them. Have you ever eaten food from a foreign country and wondered, just like the Israelites, “What is it?” Having traveled to many countries around the world, I’ve had the privilege and opportunity of trying different traditional foods. Some have been tasty, others terribly spicy, and some pretty unusual.

After eating unfamiliar food, most of us can’t wait to get back to real “home cooking.” That’s because it’s hard to adapt to new things. Our familiar things, like family traditions, home cooking, or anything else, bring back memories that feel right and comfortable. The Israelites, like many of us, wanted to have those foods that they were used to and so they grumbled over God’s choice of provisions.

In some ways, God had put them on a forced diet – not because He wanted to lord it over them, but because He knew what was ultimately best for them. The mere fact that it came from heaven meant that it had to be good for them.

The same is true for us today: if we eat right, we will live well. This was a diet like none other. It was supernatural! Besides being a heavenly diet, it was also a kind of fast, not a fast from food, but a fast from earthly food.

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Joy and a Thankful Heart – Part 3 of 3

All believers are meant to have the joy of the Lord consistently operating through them, but this is often not the case. After taking a quick look at regular Sunday morning churchgoers, we might conclude that this joy is present, but if we were to look closer we might be surprised to find that many are just doing a good job of role playing. All the smiles and nice clothes hide the turmoil, the depression, and the loneliness. God’s joy doesn’t hide these things, but acknowledges them.

I chose to marry in my husband’s country of South Africa and settle there. Moving to a new country didn’t bother me much because I had lived a good part of my childhood outside of the United States. Once I started having children, though, I became more housebound and isolated. It was during those long, lonely hours that I often didn’t feel like being thankful. I’m an extrovert, so I get energized by being with other people.

I missed having a decent conversation with another female. When I did get the chance, those conversations were few and far between. I did try building some new relationships, but for the most part the ladies I met were busy enough with their own friends and families. Cultural differences also made it harder to connect. Missing out on meaningful relationships made raising children that much more stressful.

We may not always be able to change our circumstances, but whatever our disappointments, there is still one thing that we can change and that is ourselves. It’s usually during the tough times that we grow most. As long as we maintain the right attitude, we’ll continue moving forward; however, if we have a bad attitude, we’ll just get stuck in the situation we’re in and never pass the test.

One lesson that I’ve been learning over the past sixteen years, no matter if I’m socializing or not, is that God is enough. I’m thankful for my relationship with God, which is good. Also, my relationship with myself is good. I’m happy to be who God made me and I don’t pretend to be someone else for other people.

I recommend you also read my poem, "I See You" at Consider the Lilies, my poetry blog.

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Discovering Your Potential - Part 2 of 5

Too many women wish they had different hair, or eyes of a different color, or different gifts and talents. Wishing we were something or someone else only cripples our potential and our joy. Some even think that they’re not a bit talented or gifted. Actually, we’re all talented and gifted, but in different ways and to different degrees. We bring God glory when we embrace the unique way that He made each of us.

We are like life coaches, but we can’t coach our kids about discovering their identities if we don’t know our own. Therefore, we need to be thankful and honest about ourselves and not pretend to be someone we’re not. By modeling this we will help our children confidently get to know who they are. Peer pressure doesn’t have to get the better of them if we create an atmosphere that strengthens their self-esteem.

The best part is that whatever we’re born with doesn’t just end there. There’s more for us because there’s much more in Christ. It’s good to note our weaknesses, but if we spend time trying only to improve our weaknesses then we may forget about our strengths. This can have a bad effect on our self-esteem, to the point where we finally just give up on ourselves. We need to keep our focus on God and His potential not on our own abilities or seeming lack thereof. Even our strengths can be our greatest weaknesses when they are not properly harnessed. We just need to stay available and teachable, and God will do the rest.

I recommend that you read my post about my son and youngest daughter in "Eye Color Conversation."

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Finding Balance – Part 3 of 3

Perhaps you’ve chosen to be a full-time homemaker. That fact doesn’t mean the other members of the family don’t need to help. They’ll learn to appreciate what you’re doing when they have to do a few things themselves. They will also take ownership of the values that you hold concerning home life.

In my home, my husband jokes that he’s the butler and I’m the maid. It’s the reality of our home life. We shoulder the load together and endeavor to teach our kids the same. We’re a good team, but it has taken us lots of open communication to get us where we are today.

Having a balanced life and the right perspective toward ourselves and our work are blessings that come with being in the center of God’s will. It requires us to be faithful in the smallest things, but that doesn’t mean doing everything for everyone. It means being a good steward of what God requires of us and learning how to say “no” or “wait” regarding the rest. It’s then that we become more accurately aware of our roles as wives and mothers, or in any other spheres of influence that we have.

It’s time we stopped going through the motions of life and never really living it. When we’re in His will, we’ll find peace and fulfillment. There is truth in the saying that the more peace we have within us, the more peace we’ll have around us.

Samantha and Amanda 2012

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Finding Balance - Part 2 of 3

When God designed us, He had a vision and purpose for our lives beyond that of caregiver. God made us unique individuals for a reason. He didn’t label us “Childbearing Females,” throw us all into one great big category marked “Homemaker” and leave us there. Yet, we easily get stuck and lost in the complexities of raising a family.

It’s easy to get sucked up into the whirlwind of working and raising kids only to get spat out at the other end as living zombies. We can go through the motions so that people think we’re still alive, but nothing is left of us inside. No one will ask us to stop slaving either. The fact is that most husbands and children don’t naturally want to help around the house. They like their comfort zones, and we too easily take up the slack, wanting to please everyone.

Actually, this cheats our families of having well-rounded mothers who teach their children how to live in the real world. If we do everything for them, they will not be empowered to live a healthy life. They will also miss the opportunity of getting to know their moms, not for what they do, but for who they are.

(I took this photo in 2010 of my daughter, Jessica, helping in the kitchen.)

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Giving God Control

When God is controlling our day, we won’t have any regrets. He helps us have the right perspective on ourselves, our families, and our work. He leads us through our day so that when we’re being pulled in five different directions, we can figure out what comes first and what can wait. The supernatural dictates the natural because our ability to stay close to God will determine the quality of our lives and our work.

Outside pressures only bring confusion and rob us of our peace. When the Holy Spirit from the inside is controlling us, then we’ll experience true peace of mind. He is our Prince of Peace. He is able to keep our minds from all worry and strain. We can’t look to our husbands or anyone else to give us this because they, too, can let us down. God, on the other hand, is always faithful and true.

Jesus never promised His followers an easy life, but He did promise that He would never leave them or forsake them. It’s from His Spirit that we draw that much-needed strength, that inner guidance, and that supernatural protection for ourselves and our families. With His life flowing through us, we can bear much fruit.

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Motherhood

As a mother you have the highest calling in life, but even so there will probably be days when you feel alone and unappreciated. The “heartbeat” of "Happy Moms, Happy Homes" is to let you know that you are not alone and that no matter what you’re going through, there is Someone who wants to go through it with you.

I was often disappointed when I couldn’t create the perfect family environment. For instance, I would take extra trouble to cook a special meal, and my toddlers would refuse to eat it. Similarly, we would go on a family outing and all they seemed to do was cry. When these kinds of things didn’t turn out as I had pictured them in my mind, I would feel crushed.

Since then I have come to learn that the absence of trials is not what produces a happy family environment. Instead, it’s achieved every time I’m not shaken when trials come my way. I may not embrace them, but I’ve come to accept them. What is out of my control is still under God’s control. He’s there to comfort and guide me.

Hardly anyone welcomes trials, but the truth is that God allows even trials to shape our lives. He does not want to harm us, but to enrich us. The Bible promises that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance produces character; and character produces hope. It goes on to say that this hope will not disappoint us, because His love is poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit (Rom. 5:3-5). Knowing this, you don’t have to go under when you feel you’re going down. Just keep reminding yourself that God allows difficult times to change you, but not to break you.

Trust the leadership of His Spirit and watch Him go to work in your life, your marriage, your family, and your world. Never give up. Run the kind of race that is pleasing to God, which is to have an open and honest relationship with Him. Then you will reach the goal and gain that prize!


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