Poem - Take Timeout

My daughter, Amanda

Lord, help me take timeout in my busy day,

Remembering my kids also want me to play.

They want a mommy, who can laugh and run,

Because all they know is how to have fun.

To them their world is not about cooking and cleaning.

For them it’s all about climbing and swinging.

Help me remember what it is to be a child once more

And set aside tasks to take them out the front door.

By Christina Morley

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Working Moms – Part 4 of 4

Interestingly, the Proverbs 31 woman was not suppressed by the male-dominated culture. In those days, it was expected of most women to care solely for their homes. They seldom had equal opportunities and most of them were uneducated. Sadly, it’s still like this today in many countries and cultures around the world.

This woman described in Proverbs 31, however, was someone with authority. She had the freedom to make her own business decisions and to earn her own money. Nowhere in the passage does it mention that her husband controlled her affairs. He doesn’t even seem to be threatened by her business savvy. Instead, he seems to have had full confidence in her decisions and even praised her for her accomplishments.

She seems to have been her own boss, which would have allowed her to choose her own hours. Perhaps, when her children were small, she didn’t have so much time on her hands to pursue being an entrepreneur. During this time, she might have acquired or developed skills that later became useful in business ventures.

Sometimes even hobbies become careers. Endeavor to put your energy into those things that give you fulfillment, and God will bless you. Never underestimate the potential that God has placed in you. Give yourself permission to be the unique you that He made you to be, and watch Him put it all together.

No matter the job, business, or career, we must never make money our priority. We cannot serve both money and God because our hearts will follow after one master or the other. That doesn’t mean that we can’t pray and ask God to give us success in our work, but if money becomes the issue, then it will have control over us. If we live for the pursuit of money, we will rob ourselves of living joy-filled lives.

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Working Moms – Part 3 of 4

Sometimes you may be doing what God has called you to do, but you continue to feel unfulfilled. When my first two were still in diapers and I was their primary caregiver, I knew that I was in the center of God’s will, but it was a constant struggle. Regularly I felt as if I was dying a hundred deaths. Those are the times when we must learn how to draw strength from God.

Perhaps you feel that your efforts are going unnoticed. Maybe you’re wondering why you even bother. Give yourself a break once in a while. Reward yourself for those “thankless” jobs. Go and have some fun… make a memory… be creative.

One thing that I want to make clear is that God never intended women to be suppressed in the home. There’s much more to moms than cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, and so forth. Those jobs in themselves can take up all of one’s day. For me, it felt as if I was one of those pet hamsters running endlessly in a suspended wheel.

The good news is that God created moms to use their different gifts and talents as much as everyone else. In the Bible, there were a number of women who had jobs and who were leaders. Some even supported Jesus and His disciples financially. Most of these women were probably mothers, but they were also involved in the world around them.

One of the best examples of an all-round woman is the famous woman of Proverbs 31. It’s possible that she wasn’t a real person, but rather a representation of an ideal woman. Whoever she might have been, I didn’t always like her. She was too perfect and seemingly able to accomplish everything with superhuman strength. I thought, “How could the rest of us women ever hope to live up to her standard?”

I figured that, of course, her husband must have adored her. Who wouldn’t want a wife that could do everything? Yet, if you look closely you will notice that she didn’t achieve everything single-handedly. At times, she actually had others working with her. Actually, we all could accomplish much more if we had people helping us like she did. Not only can we accomplish more, but we can feel energized knowing that not everything rests on our shoulders alone.

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Working Moms – Part 2 of 4

I chose to be a stay-at-home mom while my kids were small. I knew it was the best I could do for them, but I didn’t enjoy being bound to the house. Some mothers may feel fulfilled in their role as stay-at-home moms. But, what if, like me, you have also chosen to be a stay-at-home mom but feel unfulfilled? What if you desire to be doing more than just housework? In order to keep some variety in my life, I tried different things, such as working from home to bring in a little extra money.

Choosing to stay at home to raise your children is not an easy task, especially when they are small and you still have to do everything for them. From babyhood to toddlerhood they are completely dependent upon you. There’s nothing they can do that doesn’t require some help or monitoring.

If you’re feeling stuck, then maybe it’s time you redefined yourself. With God there is infinite creativity. He can give you an idea that requires you to think outside of the box. Try to discover what you like to do and where God wants to use you.

If you work away from home and hate every minute of it, perhaps it’s for the wrong reason. Is it because you have placed more faith in that pay check than in God? He knows that you need clothes and food, but He asks you to seek His kingdom first, and then all these things will be given to you (Luke 12:22-31). God’s kingdom principles will never fail you or your family.

Linking up with Brooke @ Covered in Grace

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Thankful in Times of Drudgery – Part 4 of 5

Passing through a desert in life is hard, going around it in circles is even harder, and hating every step of the way is just unbearable. So, what should a mom do when she feels stuck in time, or forgotten? I can’t say that I have any simple answers. All I can say is that this, too, will pass. It’s only for a time.

A friend of mine once told me that if you can’t change your problem, then change your perspective. So when you find yourself in a dry place, ask God to teach you what you have to learn. Determine to wake up every morning saying, “Good morning, God!” rather than “Good God, it's morning!”

As people of God, we’re not just supposed to survive; we’re meant to thrive! God never intended the Israelites just to survive either. He had a plan for their lives that was meant for good and not for evil. That plan included an inheritance, but they weren’t ready to enter into that inheritance.

Part of that inheritance was entering into God’s rest; a rest from work. This was called the Sabbath day. It was not just another rule. God did not make it up to lord it over them. Since they weren’t allowed to do any work on that day, it taught them to rely on God instead of their own strength. It was also God’s way of protecting them from exhaustion and burn-out.

Yes, God wanted them to be obedient and to depend on Him. But, He also wanted them to have a day to rest, to contemplate, and to recharge. Also, God intended the Sabbath rest to teach them to rest in God’s abilities in the whole of their lives.

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Thankful in Times of Drudgery – Part 1 of 5

Mother's Day 2008

Do you often feel weighed down, even overwhelmed, by the nitty-gritty of daily life? Does it sometimes seem as if there is nothing you can do to make the job of motherhood any better? Maybe you’re even ready to throw in the towel?

For those of you who are new to this blog, I’ve been following the lives of the Israelites in the time of Moses, mainly their time in the desert as they journeyed to the Promised Land. Life out in the desert wasn’t much fun. There were no shopping malls, no TVs, and no books or magazines to read. Life went on, and there were daily chores to be done. Of course, a few miracles and a few curses broke the monotony every now and again.

Forty years was a long time to be wandering. It was, of course, meant to be a punishment for the unbelief of the parents. Their children, however, had to go with them through this experience. There must have been hundreds of days that felt like drudgery to them. My few years spent stuck at home caring for a family felt something like that to me. Minutes dragged into hours and hours into days.

I spent most of my time trying to make the kids happy, preparing the meals, and cleaning the house. The down-side was that it was never-ending. It was a constant cycle of kids, meals, house, kids, meals, house, kids, meals, house, and on it went. There was little variety and a lot of work.

On my poetry blog Consider the Lilies, I have posted a poem for Mother's Day called "Gifted, Talented Woman." Here is one stanza from the poem: Without women there would be no children to see - There would be no you and also no me - No different cultures, no different faces, - No different colors and no different races...

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Finding Balance – Part 3 of 3

Perhaps you’ve chosen to be a full-time homemaker. That fact doesn’t mean the other members of the family don’t need to help. They’ll learn to appreciate what you’re doing when they have to do a few things themselves. They will also take ownership of the values that you hold concerning home life.

In my home, my husband jokes that he’s the butler and I’m the maid. It’s the reality of our home life. We shoulder the load together and endeavor to teach our kids the same. We’re a good team, but it has taken us lots of open communication to get us where we are today.

Having a balanced life and the right perspective toward ourselves and our work are blessings that come with being in the center of God’s will. It requires us to be faithful in the smallest things, but that doesn’t mean doing everything for everyone. It means being a good steward of what God requires of us and learning how to say “no” or “wait” regarding the rest. It’s then that we become more accurately aware of our roles as wives and mothers, or in any other spheres of influence that we have.

It’s time we stopped going through the motions of life and never really living it. When we’re in His will, we’ll find peace and fulfillment. There is truth in the saying that the more peace we have within us, the more peace we’ll have around us.

Samantha and Amanda 2012

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Finding Balance - Part 2 of 3

When God designed us, He had a vision and purpose for our lives beyond that of caregiver. God made us unique individuals for a reason. He didn’t label us “Childbearing Females,” throw us all into one great big category marked “Homemaker” and leave us there. Yet, we easily get stuck and lost in the complexities of raising a family.

It’s easy to get sucked up into the whirlwind of working and raising kids only to get spat out at the other end as living zombies. We can go through the motions so that people think we’re still alive, but nothing is left of us inside. No one will ask us to stop slaving either. The fact is that most husbands and children don’t naturally want to help around the house. They like their comfort zones, and we too easily take up the slack, wanting to please everyone.

Actually, this cheats our families of having well-rounded mothers who teach their children how to live in the real world. If we do everything for them, they will not be empowered to live a healthy life. They will also miss the opportunity of getting to know their moms, not for what they do, but for who they are.

(I took this photo in 2010 of my daughter, Jessica, helping in the kitchen.)

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Finding Balance - Part 1 of 3

God desires that we live out of a relationship with Him so that there will be a healthy balance of priorities to our day. When there’s an imbalance in our lives it’s important to find out what’s causing it, why it is there, and how we can change things to improve the quality of our lives. Imbalances can be harmful to our peace and joy and, of course, our health. Sometimes it’s as simple as choosing to get enough sleep, but at other times it’s more complicated than that.

If you can’t see the way out of a bad situation, ask God to give you wisdom and the right strategy for improving your circumstances. If we do not seek God’s help, the outcome could deteriorate rather than improve. Some people find a sense of comfort in pretending their problem isn’t there. The consequences of choosing to take no action, however, could make the problem worse.

One very common area of imbalance for mothers is in their roles as homemakers. Many good moms will often try to do everything for the other members of the family. I’d like to call it the “Supermom syndrome.” The reasons why moms feel they need to do-it-all may differ. Perhaps they’re too tired and don’t feel they have the energy to persuade others to participate. Or maybe they fear failure and so they overachieve. Whatever the reasons may be, the fact still remains that they place unrealistic expectations on themselves.

"God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference."

by Reinhold Niebuhr

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The "Perfect" Mom

When you’re not managing it all and feel below standard, it’s okay. Perhaps you’re tempted to think that other mothers are perfect all the time and you’re one of those that just can’t get it right. God never intended making us all the same, just as He made every snowflake unique. We each have our own personal weaknesses and our own special strengths, so don’t measure yourself by others.

We may be human, but once we become born again, God puts His Spirit inside us. His Spirit is perfect, and yet He’s willing to live through imperfect believers like you and me. At the same time, He doesn’t intend us to be trapped by our weaknesses.

Just as we wouldn’t like to keep a messy house, so the Lord doesn’t want His children’s lives to be cluttered by burdens or shortcomings. He will gladly carry our burdens. As far as our shortcomings are concerned, the Holy Spirit is careful not to overwhelm us by pointing out everything at once. He knows how much we can handle.

Sometimes we might be tempted to try to perfect ourselves without His leading, or we might be tempted to point out other people’s faults. However, that is His job and not ours. We must remember that God is the Father and we are the children, not the other way around. He just wants us to be willing to take time to listen to His promptings.

He has called us to be holy as He is holy, but He hasn’t called us to be perfectionists. Perfectionism is a form of pride as it places the focus on our own performance instead of on His grace. When trying to do everything right becomes the goal, we are operating in our own strength. This puts us in a difficult situation because if we are attempting to keep up our impossibly high standards, we’ll eventually burn out.

On the other hand, when holiness comes by His grace then the glory is His, not ours. It’s about exchanging our lives for His. It’s the difference between self-righteous living and God’s life that He wants to give us. We have success only when we allow God to live His life through us by the working of His Holy Spirit.

Whether you are a perfectionist or not, I have good news for you: you are already acceptable in God’s eyes because of the blood that Jesus shed for you. You don’t have to prove yourself to Him. He loves you just for being you.

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