Who's in Control - Part 3 of 3

Image by Christina Morley

In the past, people have used the Bible to condone slavery. Others have used it to subjugate women. Are women really not equal and is slavery really acceptable? Most people today would agree that slavery is not God’s perfect will for anyone. However, when it comes to women and their role in the home or the Church, there’s a huge divide among Christians.

Doesn’t the Bible state that women are to be subject and all the rest? Well, when it comes to hard-to-understand scriptures, it’s important to try to interpret them along with fundamental truths which are easier to understand. One such truth states that there is no longer slave or free, male or female, because we are all under Christ (Gal. 3:28). This scripture was written in order to unify believers. Where there is unity, God commands a blessing. We are not to lord it over each other anymore. We are all heirs of the same promise, and if Christ set us free, then we are free indeed.

We women should honor our husbands. That means that when we feel the need to disagree, we should do so respectfully. This is how we should behave toward all authority figures. They, in turn, should be mature enough to honor us even when there are disagreements or when we make suggestions.

Women might be very different from men, but we are not unlike God. God has all the male and female attributes found in mankind. When He created Adam and Eve, He created them in His image. The concept of both male and female begins with God. As we allow God to take His rightful place of authority in our lives, we can be confident in His perfect leadership. The Lord is without sin and so His leadership will never harm us.

As parents, it’s our responsibility to demonstrate healthy authority to our children. We are the first authority figures that they will have contact with. We are also their first glimpse of what God is like. Our children are growing up to be the next generation of leaders. Are we teaching them to be respectful and to be respected? Whatever values we instill in them during their developmental years will become their values in adulthood. Hopefully, they will live in such a way as to make their world a better place.

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Who's in Control Part 1

The "Christian" Submission Trap

Who's in Control Part 2

Should Wives Always Submit?

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Who's in Control - Part 2 of 3

Image by Christina Morley

I refused to be controlled, but my desire for self-preservation was so strong that at times my husband felt that I was behaving in a controlling manner. He certainly had a tough time with me. When I wouldn’t back down, he’d often argue harder and raise his voice. On at least two occasions, he dominated the argument to the point where I needed to leave the house to get my space. It was only when we allowed God into our communication that He was able to resolve even the worst deadlocks that we were facing.

We were no experts at conflict resolution. I felt caught in the middle of a tug-of-war. Or maybe it was more like a three-way tug-of-war with my husband, God, and me. Fortunately, God won the war, but He had to first teach us how submission works in a marriage. It’s not as simple as some would have us believe. I had come from a highly conservative Christian background where godly women were meant to “know their place.”

I tried the submission route only out of desperation. Did it fix our problems? No, it fell short of expectations and it sometimes flew right back in my face.

I don’t think compromising convictions ever works. The Bible says that whatever is not of faith is sin. I desperately wanted to be controlled by the Spirit, but at times my husband wanted control. He couldn’t always tell when my feelings were just my feelings and when they were really prompted by the Holy Spirit. The fact that his reactions tended to be based on cognitive processes whereas mine were based more on feelings meant that we often struggled in our communication.

I can clearly remember one incident where our idea of submission showed its flaws. At the time, we were staying at my in-laws’ luxury country inn. My husband and I were sitting outside one of their suites while the children were down at their grandma’s house. It had been a lovely day, and the kids had been running around barefoot.

Later that afternoon, as the air began to cool, my husband became concerned that the children could catch a cold. He thought that I was being negligent and told me that I must go down immediately to put socks and shoes on them. I didn’t feel that going right then was a good idea because my mother-in-law had said that she was resting and I didn’t want to disturb her. Also, the kids were indoors so I didn’t think the cold air would bother them for another half-hour or so.

Well, my husband became annoyed. He wanted me to respond to the situation as he thought I should. To keep the peace, I went down, despite my reservations. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but my in-laws’ house was small and their room was right next to the living room where the kids were watching TV. I didn’t stay long, but long enough to have disturbed her rest. I had become trapped between my husband’s expectations and my own conscience. Clearly, submitting in every situation did not always have a favorable outcome.

Related Post: Who's in Control - Part 1

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Who's in Control - Part 1 of 3

Image by Christina Morley

At the age of eighteen, I left home to become a missionary. With my new-found independence, I took the time to do some soul searching regarding my relationship with God. I wanted to know Him better. My conversion experience was real and I never questioned that, but there was still something missing. I realized that I knew a lot about God, but I didn’t know Him all that intimately. Up until then, I had lived my Christian life according to my own understanding.

I distinctly remember a conversation that I had with God one evening. I sensed that God was asking me, “How is the Holy Spirit important to Christianity?” It’s then that I began my journey of learning about a part of the Trinity to which I had never properly been introduced. In the churches that I had attended, I had heard lots about Father God and His Son Jesus, but there was little taught about the Holy Spirit.

Through books, testimonies, and searching the Scriptures, I began learning and experiencing more of the Spirit. I became more attuned to His leading. For me, it became a surrendered life. I no longer wanted to be the one in control, because God knew how to do things better.

Then I got married. My husband and I didn’t live the Christian life as well as we thought we did. We thought we were more Christ-like than we really were. Marriage brought out all our imperfections. When we couldn’t agree on something, the issue of submission would sometimes follow. Neither of us knew exactly how submission was meant to function in the marriage. I, especially, had doubts.

My ability to stand up for myself was also my weakness. I didn’t know how to let God fight on my behalf. My strength was merely adding fuel to the fire. You see, growing up as a military kid, I had acquired some survival skills. During the eighteen years I lived with my parents, we moved eight times. I had experienced very few constants. Change was a part of life. No one stood up for me either, not even at home, so I had to learn to stand up for myself. I became a confident individualist, a nonconformist, one who stuck by her convictions.

Now, I had no fear in submitting to the Lord, but I did have a few misgivings about submitting to my husband in every situation. How could I let him take the place of God? Was it biblical that I should be controlled by him? Was it my duty just to submit? Well, through it all, the Lord was teaching us both a hard lesson. At the end of the day, the Lord wanted to be the One in control of both of us.

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Working Moms – Part 4 of 4

Interestingly, the Proverbs 31 woman was not suppressed by the male-dominated culture. In those days, it was expected of most women to care solely for their homes. They seldom had equal opportunities and most of them were uneducated. Sadly, it’s still like this today in many countries and cultures around the world.

This woman described in Proverbs 31, however, was someone with authority. She had the freedom to make her own business decisions and to earn her own money. Nowhere in the passage does it mention that her husband controlled her affairs. He doesn’t even seem to be threatened by her business savvy. Instead, he seems to have had full confidence in her decisions and even praised her for her accomplishments.

She seems to have been her own boss, which would have allowed her to choose her own hours. Perhaps, when her children were small, she didn’t have so much time on her hands to pursue being an entrepreneur. During this time, she might have acquired or developed skills that later became useful in business ventures.

Sometimes even hobbies become careers. Endeavor to put your energy into those things that give you fulfillment, and God will bless you. Never underestimate the potential that God has placed in you. Give yourself permission to be the unique you that He made you to be, and watch Him put it all together.

No matter the job, business, or career, we must never make money our priority. We cannot serve both money and God because our hearts will follow after one master or the other. That doesn’t mean that we can’t pray and ask God to give us success in our work, but if money becomes the issue, then it will have control over us. If we live for the pursuit of money, we will rob ourselves of living joy-filled lives.

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The Blood – Part 2 of 3

My daughter, Jessica, as a small child

Several years ago, my girls were having bad dreams. I thought it was strange since we were still praying the same way we did every night, but now those prayers no longer seemed effective. Soon after, my husband and I discovered some satanic paraphernalia just outside our property.

It was strung-out cassette tape which looked harmless, but we had learned previously that Satanists record curses on them. After they record their curses, they pull the tape out, twine it around brush or fencing, or secure it under rocks. This “weapon” is very unassuming and, therefore, easily overlooked. In our case, these strips of tape were placed on opposite sides of our neighborhood road. They were probably not specifically intended for us, but they were a problem.

I took my authority in Jesus Christ and dealt with it. I took oil in my hands and then prayed in Jesus’ name for the curses to be broken. I picked the stuff up and threw it away with the rest of our trash. I also replaced the curses with blessings while sprinkling the area with olive oil. Then I applied oil to our outside walls, windows, and doors for God’s protection. From then on the girls slept peacefully, and the oppression stopped.

We lived on a corner property, and the area where the tape had been placed was an accident-prone zone. Visibility for motorists turning left or right was poor because of low-growing tree branches obstructing the view. The same morning I removed the tape, my husband prayed that the municipality would come and cut the excess foliage away. Amazingly, they arrived that afternoon. There were no more road accidents at that spot while we lived there.

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Spiritual Warfare – Part 4 of 4

Another tactic the enemy uses is silence. Anything that is not brought into the light has a certain hold on us, so the devil tries to keep us locked up with secrets. I think we all go through times in our lives that we don’t want to tell the truth about things in our past or present. Usually, we’re too ashamed to talk about them. However, not talking about these things can hold us back in our spiritual growth. We need to step out of secrecy, which holds us captive, and walk into His light and into His freedom.

Sometimes it’s up to us to defend the cause of others and to speak out against injustices. Keeping silent doesn’t help our cause, but it does help the devil’s. Speaking out the truth disarms the devil, and for this we need wisdom and boldness. For example, what do we do if we hear our friends gossiping? Do we join in by agreeing with them? Do we hold our tongues because we don’t want to come across as being too Christian? Or, do we take the opportunity to speak words of life and love?

Another weapon at our disposal is praise. In the time of King Jehoshaphat, a great multitude had come out against the nation of Judah (2Chron. 20:1-30). The king was afraid, so he set his face to seek the Lord, also calling all of Judah to fast and pray. God responded by telling them to go and meet the enemy, but said that they wouldn’t need to fight. They were to stand their ground, and see the salvation of the Lord.

King Jehoshaphat trusted the word of the Lord and put his faith to work. He appointed singers to go out in front of the army to praise the Lord. As they began to praise, the Lord sent an ambush against the enemy. Where there is praise, there is God. Where there is God, the demons tremble. Prayer, praise, and faith in God’s word tie the enemy’s hands and render him powerless. This is supernatural protection.

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Spiritual Warfare – Part 3 of 4

Another strategy Satan uses is fear. Satan relies on fear tactics to paralyze and overpower his victims. Sometimes he does this through criminals who prey on unsuspecting citizens. At other times, he uses fear to keep us from doing great things for God. Jesus has given us His authority to defeat the attacks of the enemy. First of all, God says He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind (2Tim. 1:7). He also says that perfect love casts out fear (1John 4:18). Once we no longer allow fear to paralyze us, we no longer need to fall prey to fear tactics.

In order to do this we must allow God’s love to rule our lives by filling our hearts and minds with His Word. His Word builds our faith and is an effective weapon against spiritual and physical attacks. We can also pray scriptures that God has given to us for our families. Two excellent passages concerning divine protection are found in Psalm 91 and Isaiah 43:1-21.

We also find safety and refuge when we call on the name of the Lord in our time of need. He has myriads of angels at His disposal and He’ll dispatch them when we cry for help. God and His angels really are just a simple prayer away.

Besides praying to God for help, we can also rebuke whoever or whatever is threatening us. Occasionally, I ask my children to practice saying something like “Stop in Jesus’ name!” and encourage them to use a commanding voice. Demons operating through people tremble at the name of Jesus and are unable to withstand Him.

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Spiritual Warfare – Part 2 of 4

When Adam and Eve sinned, they unknowingly relinquished to Satan their authority on earth. But now, through the work on the cross, Jesus has been given all authority in heaven and on earth. He now sends us out into the world with that authority. We just have to learn how to walk in it.

Satan has two major goals. His first goal is to keep as many people as he possibly can from following the Lord. His second goal is to keep those who do follow the Lord from ever reaching their full potential. As with combatants in any battle, Satan not only has goals, but he also has strategies.

This is not the time for us moms to be spiritually asleep. God’s people are perishing for lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6). Ignorance is no excuse. The Bible warns us to be always alert, prayerful, and wise.

One of Satan’s best strategies is to try to distract our focus from the real battle. The real battle is not against people, but against evil spirits. When we get tangled up in resentment, jealousy, anger, and hatred toward others, we lose the battle. We also end up wasting a lot of energy and a lot of negative emotions. To win this kind of war, we need to keep our eyes on Jesus, remain in His word, keep on praying, and keep on flowing in His love and forgiveness.

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Spiritual Warfare – Part 1 of 4

As we are drawing closer and closer to Christ’s return, the evil around us is also increasing. In God’s eyes Satan is already a defeated foe for those who are walking under the lordship of Jesus Christ, but for the rest of mankind, he is still their ruler. He is fighting for his kingdom, a kingdom that leads to destruction. He is always looking for an opportunity to derail Christians, too.

Many people think that he is weak and stupid. Others believe there is a God, but laugh if you mention that Satan and demons exist. The reality is that he is extremely clever, completely bent on evil, and very much on the prowl.

The more we understand God’s Word, the better we can safeguard against Satan’s strategies. The more we understand about our God and the authority He has given us, the better equipped we are to resist Satan and send him packing. We need to be prepared to utilize the divine protection that is ours. It’s always better not to wait until the horse is stolen before locking the barn!

Satan has a large army helping him because he can’t be everywhere at once. He is not like God who is all-pervading, all-powerful, and all-knowing. He can’t even bother us unless God allows him to test us or we give him permission by disobeying God. The devil has had more impact on our lives than necessary, because we haven’t always wielded our authority in Christ.

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Prayer is Powerful – Part 5 of 5

In my previous post, I asked how often do we pray for those who are following Christ? We might think that since they are already saved by God’s grace, we should place the focus of our prayers on non-believers. Let’s take a look at the Apostle Paul’s prayer life.

In Paul’s letters to the churches, we see that he prayed night and day for his fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Likewise, he asked them to pray for him. He knew that they were together in a spiritual battle and that prayer would help them stand firm in the faith.

There are lots of believers that we can pray for. Usually, it helps to pray for those we know personally. We should especially remember to pray for married couples and their children. Satan targets the family unit, making married life and parenting even harder than it already is. He knows that if he can get at the families, he can reach the societies and destroy the nations. The nations, however, are our inheritance in Christ. So, when we pray for our nation or other nations, we should remember that any healthy nation is built on healthy families.

We should also be praying for pastors, missionaries, evangelists, and teachers even if we don’t know them personally. We can also pray for Christians in government, courts of law, politics, the arts, and sportsmen and women.

We are also instructed in the Word of God to pray for our leaders, the godly and the ungodly alike (1Tim. 2:1&2). God is the one who puts people in authority. Even if we don’t like our leaders, we should still pray for them and show them honor. Even when freedom of speech is regarded as one of our basic rights, that doesn’t mean that God gives us the freedom to say whatever we like. We need to check our attitudes and keep our hearts and minds pure from wanting to see the demise of those with whom we disagree.

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Prayer is Powerful – Part 4 of 5

Prayer walking is another great way to pray. Just take a walk around the neighborhood, and pray for your neighbors. They don’t have to know you’re praying, but God knows. He will honor your prayers.

God wants us to commit everything to Him in prayer, but do we? Often we assume that God is right there tagging alongside us, so we don’t see the need to pray. Sure, God is there, and He’s promised never to leave us or forsake us. However, God gave us the earth to have authority over it, and through Adam we gave it to the devil. Now, we must take our authority back in Jesus’ name. As we pray, we bind the work of the enemy and release God to do His work.

Does that mean that God can’t work if we don’t pray? No, God often works despite us, but He has chosen to partner with His children. If He wanted to do everything on His own, then there would be no reason for us to pray. Instead, He commands us to pray.

As we pray, we also need to consider where we focus our prayers. When I was frustrated with fruitless prayers, the Lord showed me that I was focusing on non-believers more than on believers. At the time, I thought that this was what was expected of me.

Actually, the truth is that we should pray for both. We need to cultivate a heart for the lost and pray for them, but not to the detriment of fellow Christians. How much of our prayers are actually spent on praying for those who, because they chose to follow Christ, would doubtless be under attack? The devil tries hard to stand in the way of believers who are trying to make a difference in their world.

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Prayer is Powerful – Part 3 of 5

My husband and I have made it a habit of praying every morning with the kids, either before leaving the house or once we’re all in the car together. We also pray every night for each child, sometimes while they’re still awake or when they’re already sleeping. Part of our prayers includes asking God to give them good dreams.

When I was a small child, I remember many times waking up from nightmares. As I grew older, those nightmares became less frequent. As an adult, I almost forgot they ever existed, but one day they suddenly came back.

I began to notice that there was a pattern for when I had a good night or a bad night. It seemed that the night before I had to lead a youth group or Sunday school class, a nightmare would strike. The dreams would be so graphic and gruesome that I realized they couldn’t be from my own imagination.

I tried praying scripture promises from David’s psalms concerning peaceful sleep. I also anointed every room with oil, but nothing I did seemed to work. Finally, I tried another tactic. It was so simple that I was surprised to find that it worked. All I did was pray that God would put His angels around our home to protect our sleep. I continued to pray that prayer every night, and from then on the nightmares stopped.

Now, every morning and evening we ask God to place His angels around our family. It might sound tiresome to follow such a routine. I know that after a while I had to make peace with it. We never question the need to brush our teeth every day to keep cavities away. The experts say that twice a day is better than once. It’s the same with prayer. My husband and I have seen such an improvement as a result of praying preventative prayers that we’ve chosen to make it a lifestyle.

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Thankful in Times of Opposition – Part 3 of 4

Both Joshua and Caleb had the kind of faith where they were willing to be used by God to make a difference in their society. That’s because they never forgot their origins. They remembered that they were the chosen people of God and that their God was all-powerful. They also chose to remain faithful to God no matter what the cost. That included standing up to popular opinion. Everyone else, except for Moses, wanted to listen to the ten spies that had come back with a fearful report. Joshua and Caleb tried to persuade them differently, but to no avail. The discussion got so heated that the people threatened them with stoning.

How do you feel when others put you down or scorn your Christian faith? Do you wilt away, hoping that they won’t take notice of you in the future? Or do you stand up taller and smile brighter knowing that you’re an heir and a ruler in the family of God?

People will take notice of you, and they’ll want to know what your secret is if you’re willing to have the attitude of Joshua and Caleb. God created you with enormous potential. As you meditate on what God says about you in the scriptures, then you won’t have to worry about what others might think, say, or do.

Part of living out your faith includes having to go against the regular flow of society. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Most people are thermometers that record or register the temperature of majority opinion, not thermostats that transform and regulate the temperature of society.” We know that Dr. King stood for what he believed in despite all the threats and criticisms that he had to face.

You have to decide if you will be the thermostat and transform society or just another thermometer. Will you make yourself available to be used by God to make a difference in the lives of others around you? Do you believe that with God you have the potential to make your life and future a success?

Perhaps you’ve lost yourself in the daily grind of caring for your children, your husband, and your home, and you no longer know who you are. Or, maybe sin and fear are standing in the way of a joyous and faith-filled life.

The Israelites were offered their freedom and a blessed future if they would turn away from their idols and worship and obey God. Instead, they preferred their spiritual and even their physical slavery to God’s gift of freedom.

Don’t be a slave to your family, to sin, or to fear. If you’re going to be a slave, then be a slave to the Lord. The apostle Paul was a Roman citizen and therefore a free man, but he wrote that He was a slave of Christ Jesus. To be a slave of Jesus actually means to be free – free from the bondage of sin and death. The devil came to steal, kill and destroy, but Jesus has come to give us life and to give it abundantly (John 10:10).

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Joy and a Thankful Heart – Part 1 of 3

We have an enemy called the devil, who goes around like a roaring lion seeking whom he can devour (1Peter 5:8). We ought not to underestimate his craftiness because when our guard is down he’ll try to blindside us. Whether we like it or not, the truth is that we are engaged in a war twenty-four hours a day.

Every team wants to know its opponent’s strategy so that it can win the game. That is why I may mention the devil’s strategies now and again – not to give the enemy glory, but to expose his game plan.

When God gave Adam and Eve authority over creation, life was good. However, when they disobeyed God they lost that authority. They didn’t just eat “an apple.” They took hold of something much bigger than just a piece of forbidden fruit. They took hold of the knowledge of good and evil, which had far-reaching consequences. In fact, everything was affected negatively in that we died spiritually, as God had warned. We no longer lived with God as our source, but tried to live apart from Him. We all failed at this miserably, but God had a plan to rescue us.

Jesus came to put things right. Through His authority, we have the advantage and the victory over sin and its consequences. The devil doesn’t want us to walk in that authority so he cons us into thinking that we don’t have it. He tricks us into thinking that we are losers and failures.

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Poem - Still Small Voice

Listen, do you hear
The still small voice
The One so near
To your heart and soul

He speaks with authority
And yet with patience
He, of the Trinity
Knocking at your door

He is your Helper
Who has everything to give
He is also your Keeper
So have faith in Him

You must learn to obey
If you want to receive
Put selfish desires away
And seek His counsel

He knows all
And wants to reveal it you
So hear His call
And be ready to respond

Therefore, learn to listen
To the Holy Spirit
Who dwells within
For He speaks of the Father

And it is the Father and Son
Who bless the Spirit
With their power in One
To prepare you for service

by Christina A. Morley

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