Finding Balance - Part 2 of 3

When God designed us, He had a vision and purpose for our lives beyond that of caregiver. God made us unique individuals for a reason. He didn’t label us “Childbearing Females,” throw us all into one great big category marked “Homemaker” and leave us there. Yet, we easily get stuck and lost in the complexities of raising a family.

It’s easy to get sucked up into the whirlwind of working and raising kids only to get spat out at the other end as living zombies. We can go through the motions so that people think we’re still alive, but nothing is left of us inside. No one will ask us to stop slaving either. The fact is that most husbands and children don’t naturally want to help around the house. They like their comfort zones, and we too easily take up the slack, wanting to please everyone.

Actually, this cheats our families of having well-rounded mothers who teach their children how to live in the real world. If we do everything for them, they will not be empowered to live a healthy life. They will also miss the opportunity of getting to know their moms, not for what they do, but for who they are.

(I took this photo in 2010 of my daughter, Jessica, helping in the kitchen.)

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Finding Balance - Part 1 of 3

God desires that we live out of a relationship with Him so that there will be a healthy balance of priorities to our day. When there’s an imbalance in our lives it’s important to find out what’s causing it, why it is there, and how we can change things to improve the quality of our lives. Imbalances can be harmful to our peace and joy and, of course, our health. Sometimes it’s as simple as choosing to get enough sleep, but at other times it’s more complicated than that.

If you can’t see the way out of a bad situation, ask God to give you wisdom and the right strategy for improving your circumstances. If we do not seek God’s help, the outcome could deteriorate rather than improve. Some people find a sense of comfort in pretending their problem isn’t there. The consequences of choosing to take no action, however, could make the problem worse.

One very common area of imbalance for mothers is in their roles as homemakers. Many good moms will often try to do everything for the other members of the family. I’d like to call it the “Supermom syndrome.” The reasons why moms feel they need to do-it-all may differ. Perhaps they’re too tired and don’t feel they have the energy to persuade others to participate. Or maybe they fear failure and so they overachieve. Whatever the reasons may be, the fact still remains that they place unrealistic expectations on themselves.

"God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference."

by Reinhold Niebuhr

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Happy Moms - Part 2

If you feel guilty about spending time on yourself, then remind yourself that God’s love for you is greater than the greatest love you could ever have for your children. Of course, He loves your children with that same powerful love. Therefore, He doesn’t want you to neglect yourself. Sometimes you have to deny yourself for your family’s sake, but if you do it all the time then your family loses something very valuable, and that is you! Your family needs the real you with your personality, not a robot! Remember, God loves you for who you are and not for what you do.

Perhaps we need to start loving ourselves again by taking timeout to reflect and recharge. When we’re away from the hustle and bustle of the day, we can begin to process our thoughts and emotions and get God’s perspective on it all. Unburdening ourselves helps us to let go of stress and to live healthier lives.

One way to stay connected with the deep things of your heart is by journaling. Maybe you’re doing that already. If not, it might be a good time to start. Don’t worry about how well you can write or if you miss a few days. It’s not about that. Simply jot down what God is doing in your life. Journaling allows you to look back and see how you’ve grown. It also helps you uncover those hidden treasures that have been buried during the busy times of life. In your journal, you can add any spiritual experiences that you might have had, like a vivid dream, a vision, a scripture, or a word that God has given you. You can also include prayer points and later record when and how God answered them.

Taking timeout to reflect is great, but there are other ways to recharge, such as doing things that you enjoy. It could be as simple as listening to music, taking a hot bath, or going for a walk. Or it could be a little more elaborate like getting involved in a hobby. Sometimes dabbling with a hobby can develop into a vibrant career. Whatever you do in life, never underestimate the creativity that is inside of you.

Developing the unique way God made you will protect you later against the empty nest syndrome (that period of time when your kids become adults and leave home). If you don’t lose your identity now then you won’t have to find it later after the kids have gone.

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Happy Moms - Part 1

The previous blogs were about developing a healthy relationship with God. These next few blogs are about developing a healthy relationship with ourselves. Cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves is not a new concept. However, it’s not about becoming self-absorbed. It’s about rediscovering what makes us unique and what our purpose is. It’s also about creating balance and boundaries.

Each of us has the ability to positively influence thousands through the people that cross our paths every day. Satan knows this will hurt his cause, so he undermines our self-worth and keeps us so busy with other things that we become ineffective. Insecurities and busyness also cause us to miss out on God’s best for our lives. That’s why we need to take timeout so that we can protect what God has entrusted to us by staying focused and centered.

One thing I’ve come to realize about us moms is that we are quick to take care of our kids and slow to take care of ourselves. It’s also possible to neglect our husbands when we’re so concerned about our children. We may think that if we sacrifice our own needs all the time that we’ll build a perfect home where everyone is blissfully happy. The truth is that until we get our priorities in the right order, we’ll all suffer for it.



I was a stay-at-home mom for about four years. It was hard being restricted to the house for most of the day. Raising demanding and crying tots almost full-time drove me crazy. I was stressed out of my mind and very unhappy.

I would recommend all moms to have at least one job or hobby outside of the home. If you’re feeling stuck, then you’re not in a happy frame of mind. Once I was able to get out of the home and focus on something other than the kids, I became much happier. The best part was that as my needs were being met, I was better able to meet my family’s needs.

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Poem - Still Small Voice

Listen, do you hear
The still small voice
The One so near
To your heart and soul

He speaks with authority
And yet with patience
He, of the Trinity
Knocking at your door

He is your Helper
Who has everything to give
He is also your Keeper
So have faith in Him

You must learn to obey
If you want to receive
Put selfish desires away
And seek His counsel

He knows all
And wants to reveal it you
So hear His call
And be ready to respond

Therefore, learn to listen
To the Holy Spirit
Who dwells within
For He speaks of the Father

And it is the Father and Son
Who bless the Spirit
With their power in One
To prepare you for service

by Christina A. Morley

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