Poem: Back to Back

Image by Christina Morley

Lord, gentle my anger; gentle my strife

Cause me to be the kind of wife

That knows how to bring peace in our home

To show my husband he’s not alone

May we be friends in the battle, friends in the Lord

Our faith as our shield, the Word as our sword

Standing back to back we know we can conquer

The worst that Satan may have to offer

by Christina Morley


My Christian Marriage Series:

Who's in Control? - Part 1

Who's in Control? - Part 2

Who's in Control? - Part 3

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Who's in Control - Part 3 of 3

Image by Christina Morley

In the past, people have used the Bible to condone slavery. Others have used it to subjugate women. Are women really not equal and is slavery really acceptable? Most people today would agree that slavery is not God’s perfect will for anyone. However, when it comes to women and their role in the home or the Church, there’s a huge divide among Christians.

Doesn’t the Bible state that women are to be subject and all the rest? Well, when it comes to hard-to-understand scriptures, it’s important to try to interpret them along with fundamental truths which are easier to understand. One such truth states that there is no longer slave or free, male or female, because we are all under Christ (Gal. 3:28). This scripture was written in order to unify believers. Where there is unity, God commands a blessing. We are not to lord it over each other anymore. We are all heirs of the same promise, and if Christ set us free, then we are free indeed.

We women should honor our husbands. That means that when we feel the need to disagree, we should do so respectfully. This is how we should behave toward all authority figures. They, in turn, should be mature enough to honor us even when there are disagreements or when we make suggestions.

Women might be very different from men, but we are not unlike God. God has all the male and female attributes found in mankind. When He created Adam and Eve, He created them in His image. The concept of both male and female begins with God. As we allow God to take His rightful place of authority in our lives, we can be confident in His perfect leadership. The Lord is without sin and so His leadership will never harm us.

As parents, it’s our responsibility to demonstrate healthy authority to our children. We are the first authority figures that they will have contact with. We are also their first glimpse of what God is like. Our children are growing up to be the next generation of leaders. Are we teaching them to be respectful and to be respected? Whatever values we instill in them during their developmental years will become their values in adulthood. Hopefully, they will live in such a way as to make their world a better place.

Related posts:

Who's in Control Part 1

The "Christian" Submission Trap

Who's in Control Part 2

Should Wives Always Submit?

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Who's in Control - Part 2 of 3

Image by Christina Morley

I refused to be controlled, but my desire for self-preservation was so strong that at times my husband felt that I was behaving in a controlling manner. He certainly had a tough time with me. When I wouldn’t back down, he’d often argue harder and raise his voice. On at least two occasions, he dominated the argument to the point where I needed to leave the house to get my space. It was only when we allowed God into our communication that He was able to resolve even the worst deadlocks that we were facing.

We were no experts at conflict resolution. I felt caught in the middle of a tug-of-war. Or maybe it was more like a three-way tug-of-war with my husband, God, and me. Fortunately, God won the war, but He had to first teach us how submission works in a marriage. It’s not as simple as some would have us believe. I had come from a highly conservative Christian background where godly women were meant to “know their place.”

I tried the submission route only out of desperation. Did it fix our problems? No, it fell short of expectations and it sometimes flew right back in my face.

I don’t think compromising convictions ever works. The Bible says that whatever is not of faith is sin. I desperately wanted to be controlled by the Spirit, but at times my husband wanted control. He couldn’t always tell when my feelings were just my feelings and when they were really prompted by the Holy Spirit. The fact that his reactions tended to be based on cognitive processes whereas mine were based more on feelings meant that we often struggled in our communication.

I can clearly remember one incident where our idea of submission showed its flaws. At the time, we were staying at my in-laws’ luxury country inn. My husband and I were sitting outside one of their suites while the children were down at their grandma’s house. It had been a lovely day, and the kids had been running around barefoot.

Later that afternoon, as the air began to cool, my husband became concerned that the children could catch a cold. He thought that I was being negligent and told me that I must go down immediately to put socks and shoes on them. I didn’t feel that going right then was a good idea because my mother-in-law had said that she was resting and I didn’t want to disturb her. Also, the kids were indoors so I didn’t think the cold air would bother them for another half-hour or so.

Well, my husband became annoyed. He wanted me to respond to the situation as he thought I should. To keep the peace, I went down, despite my reservations. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but my in-laws’ house was small and their room was right next to the living room where the kids were watching TV. I didn’t stay long, but long enough to have disturbed her rest. I had become trapped between my husband’s expectations and my own conscience. Clearly, submitting in every situation did not always have a favorable outcome.

Related Post: Who's in Control - Part 1

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Who's in Control - Part 1 of 3

Image by Christina Morley

At the age of eighteen, I left home to become a missionary. With my new-found independence, I took the time to do some soul searching regarding my relationship with God. I wanted to know Him better. My conversion experience was real and I never questioned that, but there was still something missing. I realized that I knew a lot about God, but I didn’t know Him all that intimately. Up until then, I had lived my Christian life according to my own understanding.

I distinctly remember a conversation that I had with God one evening. I sensed that God was asking me, “How is the Holy Spirit important to Christianity?” It’s then that I began my journey of learning about a part of the Trinity to which I had never properly been introduced. In the churches that I had attended, I had heard lots about Father God and His Son Jesus, but there was little taught about the Holy Spirit.

Through books, testimonies, and searching the Scriptures, I began learning and experiencing more of the Spirit. I became more attuned to His leading. For me, it became a surrendered life. I no longer wanted to be the one in control, because God knew how to do things better.

Then I got married. My husband and I didn’t live the Christian life as well as we thought we did. We thought we were more Christ-like than we really were. Marriage brought out all our imperfections. When we couldn’t agree on something, the issue of submission would sometimes follow. Neither of us knew exactly how submission was meant to function in the marriage. I, especially, had doubts.

My ability to stand up for myself was also my weakness. I didn’t know how to let God fight on my behalf. My strength was merely adding fuel to the fire. You see, growing up as a military kid, I had acquired some survival skills. During the eighteen years I lived with my parents, we moved eight times. I had experienced very few constants. Change was a part of life. No one stood up for me either, not even at home, so I had to learn to stand up for myself. I became a confident individualist, a nonconformist, one who stuck by her convictions.

Now, I had no fear in submitting to the Lord, but I did have a few misgivings about submitting to my husband in every situation. How could I let him take the place of God? Was it biblical that I should be controlled by him? Was it my duty just to submit? Well, through it all, the Lord was teaching us both a hard lesson. At the end of the day, the Lord wanted to be the One in control of both of us.

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Joy and a Thankful Heart – Part 1 of 3

We have an enemy called the devil, who goes around like a roaring lion seeking whom he can devour (1Peter 5:8). We ought not to underestimate his craftiness because when our guard is down he’ll try to blindside us. Whether we like it or not, the truth is that we are engaged in a war twenty-four hours a day.

Every team wants to know its opponent’s strategy so that it can win the game. That is why I may mention the devil’s strategies now and again – not to give the enemy glory, but to expose his game plan.

When God gave Adam and Eve authority over creation, life was good. However, when they disobeyed God they lost that authority. They didn’t just eat “an apple.” They took hold of something much bigger than just a piece of forbidden fruit. They took hold of the knowledge of good and evil, which had far-reaching consequences. In fact, everything was affected negatively in that we died spiritually, as God had warned. We no longer lived with God as our source, but tried to live apart from Him. We all failed at this miserably, but God had a plan to rescue us.

Jesus came to put things right. Through His authority, we have the advantage and the victory over sin and its consequences. The devil doesn’t want us to walk in that authority so he cons us into thinking that we don’t have it. He tricks us into thinking that we are losers and failures.

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Poem - Be Faithful in the Little Things

Be faithful in the little things
And God will give you more.
Be faithful in the little things
And He’ll open the door.

Did He give you a job?
Then do it well.
Were you honest?
Only time can tell.

As God has blessed you,
Have you blessed others?
Have you loved your neighbor
And Christian sisters and brothers?

There is no such thing
As a spiritual lottery
And there are no short-cuts
To godly maturity.

So be faithful in the little things
And God will give you more.
Be faithful in the little things
And He’ll open the door.

by Christina Morley

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Discovering Your Potential - Part 5 of 5

Most people will not champion you beyond their idea of what is possible. Therefore, you have to be willing to go where others refuse to follow. Many people are trapped in boxes of their own making. They feel either threatened by or jealous of anyone who ventures beyond their limited understanding. They take comfort in surrounding themselves with others who are doing the same.

Christians are not exempt from this kind of thinking. We are all tempted to hold on to what is familiar and to build our walls around that. When we ask the Holy Spirit into our lives, we aren’t immediately set free from the temptation to think like this. We still need to renew our minds by studying the Word of God, and we must develop our spiritual eyes, which are eyes of faith.

Sadly, sometimes it’s the Christians that will fight the hardest to prevent us from being who God intended us to be. However, our fight is not with people, but with evil forces (Eph. 6:12). We must look past our hurts and forgive those who try to stand in the way.

The right path to take is sometimes less visible and less traveled, but the trials we face along the way can only make us stronger. At the right time, God will open doors for each of us as we remain on course and in step with Him.

That doesn’t mean that life is always going to be exciting. The task, whether great or small, should be done with excellence. When we have the right attitude even toward the mundane we’ll experience more release in our lives. If we are faithful in the smallest things, God will bless us with bigger things (Luke 19:17).

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Discovering Your Potential – Part 1 of 5

The devil doesn’t like it when Christians are in a healthy relationship with God. He knows that if he can keep us from really connecting with our Maker, then he can keep us from reaching our full potential. That potential is wrapped up in a God-given calling. Part of knowing our calling is knowing who we are as individuals.

God made each of us differently for His good pleasure. He has given us both natural and supernatural potential. The natural potential God puts in us and we discover it. He does this like a computer programmer. He wires each of us a certain way and He carefully writes out our DNA. Only God can do that. However, we were not born fully grown. We had to develop into who we are now. The supernatural potential we discover in Christ.

When we become believers, we are able to become more like Him. The more He becomes a part of our lives, the more His Spirit will operate through us. In those areas of our lives where we feel inadequate, Jesus by His Spirit makes us adequate as we call on Him. This includes enabling us to operate in the fruit of the Spirit, as found in Galatians 5:22, such as in faithfulness and kindness. Furthermore, we can ask for supernatural gifts of the Spirit, which include knowledge and healing.

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Hearing God's Voice - Part 1

There’s a saying I once read that states, “Nothing is going to happen to me today that You and I together can’t handle.” The purpose of these next two blogs is to explain how to hear God's voice.

Reading God’s Word is the foundation of our Christian lives. Spending time reading God’s Word is often referred to as having a “quiet time.” This doesn’t mean that we all have to wake up at four or five in the morning before everyone else is awake or that it even needs to be all that quiet.

I’ve discovered that a personal relationship with Jesus is just that: it’s personal. Even the name “quiet time” can be a misnomer. How quiet it’s going to be really depends on you.

A successful quiet time is not measured by how rigid the program is. Instead, it’s measured by how well you connect with God. Too many people feel they have to copy someone else’s style, and when they discover they can’t keep it up, they give up.

If we live by man-made rules, then we place ourselves under a law that we can’t keep. We end up with the same feeling of guilt that comes from yo-yo dieting or owning an unused gym contract.

God is more interested in a relationship than in religiosity. This is why it’s important to find out what works for you. Some people do well at following a set routine, but others prefer spontaneity. It’s also important to note that as we go through different seasons in our lives, our quiet times may change.

Maybe you’re not sure how to know what God is telling you. I’ve already mentioned that reading the Bible is the best place to begin. It carefully answers life’s questions, it gives instructions on how to live morally, and it’s the living Word of God. It’s living, because you can always learn something new no matter how many times you read it.

The Bible as a whole looks formidable to read, but if you think of it as one big Book containing 66 smaller books, then it will be easier to manage. It all begins in Genesis and ends in Revelation. There are 39 books in the Old Testament and 27 in the New Testament.

The Bible’s main intention is to reveal God’s plan of salvation for mankind. The Old Testament is about God’s laws, which were written on stone, and man’s need of a Savior. The New Testament is about this Savior who has made it possible for God’s laws to be written on our hearts instead. Through Jesus, the perfect sacrifice, we have forgiveness of sins, and through His blood we are made righteous.

God’s Love Letter to us is the Bible. Through His Spirit we can understand and correctly apply what we have read. When we are studying and building ourselves up in the faith, it’s important that we focus first on the clearly stated foundational truths. They are there to protect us from losing our way as we consider other parts of God’s Word that are harder to understand.

Even though it may seem like a very long love letter, in some ways it’s not long enough, because there are still so many loose ends. These loose ends cause lots of problems when we disagree on the interpretation of them, but I believe God knew this and has a reason for them. Mainly, He wants us to learn to rely on His Spirit for the correct interpretation before drawing our own conclusions.

The safest way to Bible interpretation is by reading it in context. Of course, if it was as black and white as the print on this paper then we wouldn’t need to learn how to tune in to the Spirit, our Counselor, who leads us into all truth.

We must keep in mind that it’s always easier to argue over our convictions than it is to love one another. Arguing and pride only bring division in the body of Christ. Love and humility bring us together.

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Poem - To be a Christian

To be a born again Christian
Requires one act of honest confession
Receiving Christ’s forgiveness brings total redemption
It’s the only way for true restoration
God and man finding reconciliation
Accept this offer of Christ’s salvation
And in Him become a new creation
From there begins the work of sanctification
In heaven is our final destination
Where we’ll receive complete transformation
Amen!

by Christina A. Morley

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The "Perfect" Mom

When you’re not managing it all and feel below standard, it’s okay. Perhaps you’re tempted to think that other mothers are perfect all the time and you’re one of those that just can’t get it right. God never intended making us all the same, just as He made every snowflake unique. We each have our own personal weaknesses and our own special strengths, so don’t measure yourself by others.

We may be human, but once we become born again, God puts His Spirit inside us. His Spirit is perfect, and yet He’s willing to live through imperfect believers like you and me. At the same time, He doesn’t intend us to be trapped by our weaknesses.

Just as we wouldn’t like to keep a messy house, so the Lord doesn’t want His children’s lives to be cluttered by burdens or shortcomings. He will gladly carry our burdens. As far as our shortcomings are concerned, the Holy Spirit is careful not to overwhelm us by pointing out everything at once. He knows how much we can handle.

Sometimes we might be tempted to try to perfect ourselves without His leading, or we might be tempted to point out other people’s faults. However, that is His job and not ours. We must remember that God is the Father and we are the children, not the other way around. He just wants us to be willing to take time to listen to His promptings.

He has called us to be holy as He is holy, but He hasn’t called us to be perfectionists. Perfectionism is a form of pride as it places the focus on our own performance instead of on His grace. When trying to do everything right becomes the goal, we are operating in our own strength. This puts us in a difficult situation because if we are attempting to keep up our impossibly high standards, we’ll eventually burn out.

On the other hand, when holiness comes by His grace then the glory is His, not ours. It’s about exchanging our lives for His. It’s the difference between self-righteous living and God’s life that He wants to give us. We have success only when we allow God to live His life through us by the working of His Holy Spirit.

Whether you are a perfectionist or not, I have good news for you: you are already acceptable in God’s eyes because of the blood that Jesus shed for you. You don’t have to prove yourself to Him. He loves you just for being you.

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